Category Archives: humor

to my more conservative readers…

 

 

Pardon the Header … it relates to my Tattoo stories.

 

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What is it about tattooed people? A disdain for their skin?

After yesterday’s piece on the results of the man with the a Romney tattoo on his head, this bunch of tattoos popped up on the web (can you believe it?!):

So it doesn’t matter whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, if you have the amazing need to defile yourself as a party poster, you fall into a category of folks that is beyond my understanding, not that I am fond of the current trend to cover yourself with all kinds of tattoos at all.

Quote of the Day – The man with the Romney Tattoo

Remember Eric Hartsburg?  He was paid $15,000 to get a five inch Romney campaign tattoo on his face. Hartsburg did it as an auction. His only requirement for bidding on the ‘ad space’ was that it could not be racist or offensive.

 

“I’m the guy who has egg all over his face, but instead of egg, it’s a big Romney/Ryan tattoo. It’s there for life.
“I’m hoping this opens some other doors in the entertainment business.”

Hmmm. Opening doors in the entertainment business? I was trying to think of a situation where that would be possible, outside of a film about Romney’s loss… not something I see much of a market for. Perhaps the logo could be sold to an auto manufacturer (Rolls Royce?) and Hartsman could become a car dealer’s mascot.

How much do you want to bet that Hartsman will be whining about the tattoo to his grandchildren.

 

Favorite Television Shows?

Since I’ve been forced to stay pretty still most of the day I have been watching a lot of television (and thanks to Infinity I can go back and see many shows I’ve missed over the months) and have developed a list of shows I don’t want to miss. Act6ually, I’d repeat watching many of them several times (I often fall asleep before the end due to my condition and I want to find out what happened.)

Yesterday my daughter Cassandra and I discovered we liked a lot of the same shows. Oh, there were differences, but so many of the major ones were on both of our lists that I was sure I had had a child who was just like me.

I know you probably have favorite shows, too. Here is my top seven:

  1. The Mentalist – I don’t know what it is about this one, but I am totally hooked on it. It’s Cassandra’s number 1 show as well.
  2. “Corky” Corcoran, my favorite “Copper” Cop

    Copper – Have you seen this one on BBC America? It’s the story of NYC cops in the 1860s during the late Civil War era and the conflict between the Irish slums of Five Points and the rich folk on 5th Avenue… not to mention the Confederate conspiracy to burn down New York with an explosive called “Greek Fire.” This one has finished it’s 10 shows of the season and is now running repeats. I guess the new season starts in January.

  3. Suits – New Episodes start in January, but you can see all the older one’s on USA Network‘s web site.
  4. White Collar – waiting for January for this one to come back for another season… really miss it.
  5. Covert Affairs – the current season is just ending, but I LOVE this little CIA girl and the stuff she gets into.
  6. Big Bang Theory – Got to have my favorite comedy in there.
  7. Burn Notice – which just came back for a seventh season last week. Watching Mike, Sam and the folks at work is sooo exciting.

I like “Vegas” on CBS, but the rumor is running around that it will be cancelled for low ratings. Too bad.

So, what are yours? Do you have the same esoteric crime and conspiracy lust that I do? If they had more shows like PBS’ Broadway Musicals (from 2004) which I have been watching the re-runs from, I’d be watching that stuff more.

I get most of my news from MSNBC and PBS. What’s life without starting the day with “Morning Joe?” or Sundays with CBS “Sunday Morning?”

 

So the world’s culture changes… not necessarily for the better…

Is our view of social interaction unusually influenced by television crime drama? You Betcha!

For instance:

Dorothy, Dorothy! And what are you doing with your attack dog Toto?

Hey, did you see that they auctioned off the gingham dress that Judy Garland wore in the movie for $480,000.00?

Cartoon(s) of the Week – It’s all over. Where are we?

Kevin Siers in The Charlotte Observer:

Perhaps we can start on getting religion out of politics. What are we, the Taliban?

– and –

Clay Bennett in the Chattanooga Times Free Press:

At least we know now that America is more than old white men…

– and –

Joel Pett in The Lexington Herald-Leader:

Of course, some Republicans will probably continue their uncooperativeness. It will kill them later.

– and –

Mike Luckovich in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Of course, this may make at least one news organization reevaluate it’s strategy…

– and –

Adam Zyglis in the Buffalo News:

And now forward into the second term (thanks, in part, to General Motors.)
 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a video treat from ALL HAT NO CATTLE…

…the one blog I try to view every day. This is a video that Lisa put together Called “Back in the Good Old Days” which is a good indicator that Romney will bring Bushiness back to us.

 

Hope you enjoy it. I sure did!

 

Hey radio fans… we have a special schedule today due to football season:

My “Talk To Me” show will be on WSHC this morning from 10:30 AM to Noon. We’ll have 90 minutes for your eclectic song requests, discussion of politics with 3 days to go until all of this is decided, and perhaps some comments on the results of Sandy.

If you are too far away to call in at 304-876-5369 remember you can also Listen Live at our web site from anywhere in the world. Just go to 579WSHC.org and click on “Listen Live” and you can join our regular morning call-in group (join Ralph, Stu, Bobby and Oinky and the rest of the gang… we’d love to have you on the team.

Elliott Simon’s shown is on before ours from 9:00 to 10:30 AM.

OK… I’m putting my show together so I can get out of the house on time.

 

Do sacred undergarments make someone more Presidential?

If you’re a Mormon, you could be wearing the sacred undergarments to protect yourself. So would this help Romney as a president?

Well, let’s hear what Mike Wallace found out about the sacred underwear:

Are you convinced? Of course, Romney or his supporters have yet to criticize Obama‘s relatively ordinary underwear.

(Thanx to Caffeinated Politics.)

NOT SURE HOW MUCH SANDY IS GOING TO EFFECT THE EASTERN PANHANDLE…

But the animations the weather shows are presenting have rainstorms crossing over us… apparently we’re about as far to the west as any of this will reach and I can’t imagine it will be like a nor’easter or a tropical hurricane.

To make sure what’s happening however, I’m hanging out the Weather Forecasting Stone:

I have absolute confidence in the stone’s accuracy. Don’t you wish you had one?

 

Friday Morning Humor – What if Men were treated like Women?

I found this yesterday and, believe me, this is a clear statement:

There you go, Ladies… pass it around.

And a really funny quote to start the day…

… this is the kind of thing that makes me realize why Obama is so far ahead of his critics. On the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Obama joked about Donald Trump’s latest challenge:

“This all dates back to when we were growing up together in Kenya. We had constant run-ins on the soccer field. He wasn’t very good and resented it. When we finally moved to America I thought it would be over.”

— President Obama

Looks like a lie can be exploded by a funnier lie.

 

Some words about this blog and me…

I often get e-mail from folks out there in the web world who want to know about Under The LobsterScope and why I keep it going and put a major part of each day into it. It is for that reason that I’ve decided to say a few things that will clarify my relationship with UTL and, perhaps, encourage you to get involved as a commentor.

I started this blog through another editing site, Blogspot, during the 2004 presidential election year. I did several thousand entries over five years or so and then something happened. For some reason, someone got into my blog at Blogspot and did some fairly confusing stuff leaving it impossible for me to post on. I cancelled my relationship with Blogspot and over 4000 posts ago I started UTL up again through WordPress where it remains today.

While I was interested in electoral politics (originally in Maryland before my wife and I moved to West Virginia), my biggest interest at the time – and even now, a little – was in theatre directing. I got to do a couple of musicals and some plays at local community theatres and spent a lot of time attending theatre events (one of the reasons we moved to the Shepherdstown, WV, area was to be closer to the Contemporary American Theater Festival which we attend every year.

I also have a great interest in the visual arts… Elly’s background is as a painter and visual artist. That means heading off to galleries locally, in DC and other places. Add to the visual stuff an interest in music and poetry and dance. The arts in general are very important parts of my life.

As to politics, during the past couple of years beginning with the election of Barack Obama, I have become more and more an active Democrat and have felt it is my obligation, since this is a published item read by thousands of people a week, to expose the really awful things Republicans and extreme conservatives are trying to pull off.

Several of you have also noted that I often expose dangerous things being done by religious organizations. As you probably know I am a non-believer… an atheist, a humanist… and cannot understand how people with developed intellectual capacity can believe this stuff. I have no problem exposing things that might make readers see what I see. I am, however, as opposed to pushing my atheism on others as I am of them pushing their religious beliefs on me.

Now that my current age and health keeps me in the house most of the days of the week, I have much time to read other web sites, magazines and other publications, many of which I quote or comment on in the blog. On an average day I do at least 5 posts.

I have established some regular features in this blog that I hope you enjoy. Cartoon(s) of the Week is the one people think of first when I talk about regular features. I have been interested in editorial cartoons for many years. During the current election I have regularly been posting poll results which I see by the search term roundups many of you are looking for. And, of course, there is my regular posting of celebrity obituaries.

If there is any kind of post I do that you would like to see become a regular feature, just let me know and it’s likely to happen.

– Bill

 

Obama and Romney become humorists at the Al Smith Dinner…

Becoming comedians in the support of Catholic Charities at last night’s Al Smith Dinner in NYC, the candidates made fun of each other and of themselves. Here are their respective speeches in their entirety:

 

I’m wondering if Halloween is turning into a sexually demonstrative holiday…

Have you seen some of the Halloween costumes, both for kids and adults, that are popping up on the web looking for buyers to turn on? I’m finding them amazing…what was always, to me, a kids’ holiday with a spooky, witches and ghosts attitude seems to be changing radically.

The first costume I saw that made me look for more was this kid’s costume:

The idea that mothers are going to let their young ‘uns out as contraceptive packages surprised the hell out of me… not that I didn’t think it was hilarious.

Then again, there are adult costumes that are making me wonder what folks are looking to communicate.
Perhaps there are too many things in our society that aren’t getting enough attention… or the conservative attack on a woman’s right to choose has results that appear unnatural.

I’m not about to think of Halloween as an obnoxious holiday… it never has been during my life.

It does seem that some folks are having lots of fun with this. I’m not sure if the penis here is for kids or adults. Whatever, it certainly seems happy.

Can you picture moms and dads in the costume shop with junior shopping for this year’s appearance. And then there are girl’s costumes, too. A used feminine napkin is something I would never have imagined as something to walk the neighborhood looking for candy as.

When you think of it, there are many similar things which could be turned into Halloween costumes and some designer somewhere is having an emotional roller coaster ride.

How we see members of the opposite sex is something that expresses an unusual opinion. Men are, perhaps, looking for ways to make a statement as to how he sees the woman in his life. A joke? An insult? A confused thought? Who can tell?

Then, of course, there are costumes looking for some kind of action. Does it make you wonder what occurs during the free mammogram? One can guess.

There is, however, a view of the man/woman relationship as a plug-in idea… and energy will probably be passed on. This is pretty neat, but still highly suggestive.

So… I hope at the end of the month you have an interesting and revealing Halloween.

 

Cartoon(s) of the Week – What do the Republican Candidates do to communicate their positions?

David Horsey in the L.A. Times:

So Biden kept his presence and Ryan kept up his lies…

– and –

Adam Zyglis in The Buffalo News:

It is clear Biden chewed him up…

Joe Heller in the Green Bay Press Gazette:

And, of course, the lowering of the jobless rate throws a scare into Republicans for Halloween…

Lee Judge in the Kansas City Star:

And more numbers are getting into the election confusion…

Mike Luckovich in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Do you wonder why Ryan wants to take away our government support and replace it with advertising?

– and –

Kevin Siers in the Charlotte Observer:

But we are left with a candidate who can be anything we want…but with no substance.

Saturday Morning and I’m getting ready for the 11 o’clock show…

Our regular schedule at WSHC (89.7 FM) is back this week, so my show, Talk To Me, is on from 11 AM to 1 PM and I’ll be taking calls from listeners at 304.876.5369. Remember, if you are not in our listening area (which unfortuneately ony covers about 50 miles around Shepherdstown, WV) you can listen live on the web site: http://897wshc.org.

As usual, I am putting together the list of songs I’d like to play on the show, but I expect my regular callers and more will call in with hard to find requests (which I usually pull out of the air) and their music, as usual, outplays mine. It’s really worth listening to if you have a desire to hear work from the 40s, 50s or 60s. Those are the years most of the requests fall into.

I also expect Ralph Petrie to show up around noon for one of my favorite parts of the show, The Petrie Dish. Ralph brings in his historic music list which really educates all of us on the history of rock ‘n roll.

I love the Saturday show and I hope you might as well.

 

Ex-Lax for Mitt

 

I’m passing this on from walthe310 at Bell Book Candle:

Mitt‘s lies are full of S—T.

That is a characterization of the content of his speeches, not of his person. To dramatize how Obama supporters view Mitt’s words, I propose that each of us mail a sample of Ex-Lax or equal to Mitt at this address:

Romney for President
P. O. Box 149756
Boston, Massachusetts 02114-9756

If you agree that this a good idea, please reblog this message so that as many people as possible see it.

What a good idea! The press is being informed about this and the more who participate, the more fun we will all have. At the same time, make a cash equivalent donation to Obama’s campaign at www.barackobama.com.

When you send Mitt his present, write “EX-LAX for Mitt” on the outside of the package so that even if they don’t open it at the Romney campaign they will know what it is.  🙂

 

 

Finding something to do to keep from going mad!

 

I’ve had a bad day today… physically tripped up by a small seizure while I was doing dishes and an afternoon of trying to stay awake. This is, unfortunately, what life has become… I can’t drive (by law…until I’ve gone a year without a seizure as certified by a doctor) and, since Elly works (which I can’t do outside of the house), I bounce off the walls and am bombarded by televised boredom. If it were not for my laptop and the internet I might as well be in a coma.

So I guess I’m going to start writing something outside of my blog. There is a joy in constructing ideas out of words which I am beginning to look forward to each morning. What I do with what I write is not apparent right now, but I expect it will be realized sooner or later.

I’m tending toward creating a radio drama that I might be able to add to my Saturday show at WSHC, or do with John on the Friday morning show. I’ve been researching radio scripts from the 30s and 40s and I find them fascinating. Some are funny, some are adventures, all of them are strongly character-based since there is little opportunity for scenery (other than sound effects) in radio work.

When I get something finished I’ll let you know.

 

The Jon Stewart / Bill O’Reilly Debate

 

If you missed it last night, here it is:

Enjoy yourself.

 

Why Obama Now…

An animation by Simpsons/Family Guy animator Lucas Gray:

Pass it around. It sums up the issues very well…very understandably. Entertaining, too.

Cartoon(s) of the Week – Does Big Bird sum up the Debate?

 

Jeff Danziger in the L. A. Times:

So what is memorable from the debate?

– and –

Robert McKee in the Augusta Chronicle:

Are the issues food or labor?

– and –

Nick Anderson in the Houston Chronicle:

Did you see them serve up their achievements or potentials?

– and –

Clay bennet in the Chattanooga Times Free Press:

As displayed by his announcement to cure the deficit by dropping PBS and Big Bird.

– and –

Gary McCoy for Universal Press Syndicate:

Oh well… Halloween is coming. Do you think we can forget politics for a while?

Nestle, Byron (my dogs) and I agree with Bill Maher:

(Thanks to All Hat, No Cattle for putting this one up.)

A Wonder of Science (Rated “R”)

This isn’t for kids… but it might be for you:

 

🙂   🙂   🙂   🙂   🙂

Jon Stewart takes on Fox News

Chris Wallace tried to trap Jon Stewart in a liberal trap, but Stewart’s views of Fox as a conservative ideological network stand up. Stewart wins! here’s the video:

Don’t forget… there’s a Bill O’Reilly vs. Jon Stewart Debate on October 6. It costs $4.95 to hear the 90 minute show live. Hey…cheaper than the movies and probably more entertaining!

Jon Stewart (detail of original picture)