How the Democrat Party Lost Its “ic”

I picked this up from OpEdNews:


By Russ Buchanan

My determination to find out why and when Republicans replaced “Democratic Party” with the stunningly childish “Democrat Party” led me to a secret strategy session held by the Republican elite shortly after their defeat at the polls.

Strangely, the minutes of the meeting were written in verse:

A meeting was held in the town of DC
The Party’s elite were invited
There was Palin and Cheney and Sean Hannity
Their leader Rush Limbaugh presided

Rush called to the crowd, “We’re in trouble, my friends
We’re shrinking with each day that passes
We need new ideas for two thousand ten
Or the Dems will again kick our asses

We can’t argue issues – they win at that game
And just saying ‘no’ has grown old
Drowning them out makes us look quite insane
We need something clever and bold”

“How ‘bout a catchy new phrase?” Palin said
“That says what we’re really about
Like, ‘If you’re not worth millions you oughta be dead!'”
“Sarah, sit down!” yelled the crowd.

So they thought and they thought ‘til their heads throbbed with pain
Thinking – for them – was exotic
Then a pudgy guy called out, “Karl Rove is my name
And by George the Second, I’ve got it!”

He ran down the aisle like a man on a mission
And snatched the mic from Limbaugh’s hand
The people fell silent – when Rove speaks, they listen
He smiled a big smile then began

“That name, ‘Democratic’ is simply unfair!
It gives such an edge to our rival.
As a name, sure it’s only a noun – fair and square –
But the voters think it’s adjectival

It makes them sound more democratic than us
A typical liberal plot
The fact that they’re commies is hidden because
Their name makes them sound like they’re not

Well, I’ve got a plan that will end all of that
To restore the once great GOP
We’ll change ‘Democratic’ to just ‘Democrat’
We’ll chop off their ‘ic’ at the ‘T’”

The crowd was ecstatic, and shouted “Hooray”
“You’ve done it again, Mr. Rove
You’ve given to us a sure-fire way
To get back the voters in droves”

And, that’s how the “ic” was removed from our name
And, believe it or not, you still hear it
It seems everyone to the right of McCain
Is completely insane, or darned near it

They’re down to just one out of five voters now
Soon it will be one of seven
And those who remain will be in Idaho
Storing food for Armageddon

So, when you hear “Democrat Party” these days
Please do try to restrain your laughter
It’s just a Republican’s final hooray
On the way to his party’s hereafter

When not playing footsie with men in next stalls
Or at presidential talks, yelling
They campaign with tea-bagging Neanderthals
Who don’t like black folk…or good spelling

They ran Sarah Palin, they outed Ms. Plame
They green-lighted torture to our lasting shame
Compared to all that, the mere change of our name
Is not something to go to war on

We’ll just put our “ic” back where it’s always been
And hope for their sake that this childishness ends
Then as a gift to our Republican friends
We’ll shorten “Moronic” to “Moron.”


Author’s Bio: Russ Buchanan is a writer, voice actor / narrator and ornery creator of audio / video agitprop.

That was my morning laugh… I hope it’s yours, too.

About btchakir

Retired Theatre Producer, Graphic Designer, Usability Tester and General Troubleshooter with a keen interest in Politics and The Stage. Currently heard on WSHC, 89.7 FM (on line at and occasionally dabbling in Community Theatre.

Posted on November 25, 2009, in blogs, humor, Opinion, Politics and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Hi, Mr. Tchakirides –

    I wanted to thank you for posting “How the Democrat Party Lost Its ‘ic'” and for your “morning laugh” comment.

    I am now going to read some of your posts – your bio certainly put the hook in me (just another lighting- designing, computer-geeking, NPO-administrating, candle factory tour-guiding playwright). Man, you have definitely been living life.

    Thanks again,

    Russ Buchanan

    By the way, check out my blog here at WordPress: maybe you’ll find another “morning laugh” or cry or…

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