How the Democrat Party Lost Its “ic”
I picked this up from OpEdNews:
By Russ Buchanan
My determination to find out why and when Republicans replaced “Democratic Party” with the stunningly childish “Democrat Party” led me to a secret strategy session held by the Republican elite shortly after their defeat at the polls.
Strangely, the minutes of the meeting were written in verse:
A meeting was held in the town of DCThe Party’s elite were invitedThere was Palin and Cheney and Sean HannityTheir leader Rush Limbaugh presided
—Rush called to the crowd, “We’re in trouble, my friendsWe’re shrinking with each day that passesWe need new ideas for two thousand tenOr the Dems will again kick our asses
—We can’t argue issues – they win at that gameAnd just saying ‘no’ has grown oldDrowning them out makes us look quite insaneWe need something clever and bold”
—“How ‘bout a catchy new phrase?” Palin said“That says what we’re really aboutLike, ‘If you’re not worth millions you oughta be dead!'”“Sarah, sit down!” yelled the crowd.
—So they thought and they thought ‘til their heads throbbed with painThinking – for them – was exoticThen a pudgy guy called out, “Karl Rove is my nameAnd by George the Second, I’ve got it!”
—He ran down the aisle like a man on a missionAnd snatched the mic from Limbaugh’s handThe people fell silent – when Rove speaks, they listenHe smiled a big smile then began
—“That name, ‘Democratic’ is simply unfair!It gives such an edge to our rival.As a name, sure it’s only a noun – fair and square –But the voters think it’s adjectival
—It makes them sound more democratic than usA typical liberal plotThe fact that they’re commies is hidden becauseTheir name makes them sound like they’re not
—Well, I’ve got a plan that will end all of thatTo restore the once great GOPWe’ll change ‘Democratic’ to just ‘Democrat’We’ll chop off their ‘ic’ at the ‘T’”
—The crowd was ecstatic, and shouted “Hooray”“You’ve done it again, Mr. RoveYou’ve given to us a sure-fire wayTo get back the voters in droves”
—And, that’s how the “ic” was removed from our nameAnd, believe it or not, you still hear itIt seems everyone to the right of McCainIs completely insane, or darned near it
—They’re down to just one out of five voters nowSoon it will be one of sevenAnd those who remain will be in IdahoStoring food for Armageddon
—So, when you hear “Democrat Party” these daysPlease do try to restrain your laughterIt’s just a Republican’s final hoorayOn the way to his party’s hereafter
—When not playing footsie with men in next stallsOr at presidential talks, yellingThey campaign with tea-bagging NeanderthalsWho don’t like black folk…or good spelling
—They ran Sarah Palin, they outed Ms. PlameThey green-lighted torture to our lasting shameCompared to all that, the mere change of our nameIs not something to go to war on
—We’ll just put our “ic” back where it’s always beenAnd hope for their sake that this childishness endsThen as a gift to our Republican friendsWe’ll shorten “Moronic” to “Moron.”
Author’s Website: http://russellbuchanan.wordpress.com/
Author’s Bio: Russ Buchanan is a writer, voice actor / narrator and ornery creator of audio / video agitprop.
That was my morning laugh… I hope it’s yours, too.